Vid: Harley Ride (July 7, 2008)

Jim and I rode the Harley last summer to meet Matt for some ice cream and then took an evening ride to the bar. I’ve been waiting to edit a lot of motorcycle footage until iMovie updated to 09 and allowed me to speed up clips, so expect more motorcycle videos in the upcoming days! :)

Prompt: Am I successful yet?

Journal prompt:

What do you need to feel successful?

I know the question is about what I need in order to feel successful, but when I began to think about my answer to that question, I was more interested in whether I actually feel successful right now, and if I do, what is it that does or doesn’t make me feel that way…

I think in my personal life, I feel successful in the area of family because Jim and I have made it through our first year of marriage, and while I’ve struggled over the years to find a healthy place for my immediate family in my life, I have recently been very successful in building positive relationships with them, while not feeling like I’ve given up anything important to do so. My sister and I, in particular, have both grown and evolved to a point where we are actually sisters now, which is new as of the past year. I think that my family efforts in the past year or so have been successful and will continue to be.

When it comes to friends, things seem to ebb and flow. I’m often frustrated that the people I seem to have the most in common with are only accessible via the internet due to geographic distance, and that the friends I have more locally are the type that float in and out of things and each one of them only meets a portion of the criteria for what I would really like to have in a kindred spirit. Have I been successful in building friendships? I would say that recently my success has been more in recognizing what I want in a friendship and eliminating relationships that don’t provide enough (or any) of those things, so that my energy is best spent on those who reciprocate that energy.

As a professional, I have succeeded by finding work right out of grad school and in excelling at that work, but I think that in order to feel an ongoing sense of success I will need to continue to learn and grow as a therapist, and I will need to eventually incorporate more clinical work (counseling/therapy) into what I do later on as a mental health professional. I have a picture of where I’d like to be professionally when I’m “settled,” and I’m not quite there yet.

Are you a success? Why or why not? What does it really mean to be “successful”?

Reading: The Reader by Bernhard Schlink

SPOILER ALERT: THIS REVIEW CONTAINS SPOILERS! READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!

The Reader by Bernhard Schlink

My review

Rating: 3 of 5 stars

1. When did you understand the significance of the title?

I think I vaguely understood the title within Part 1, with the meaning becoming more and more clear throughout Part 2. The Reader, or main character, was actually my least favorite element of the book. I didn’t like him at all.

2. Do you think The Reader is a love story? How would you describe Michael and Hanna’s relationship?

I think The Reader could have been a love story, but was too riddled with the sometimes annoying angst of Michael, and I’m not sure the two ever felt real love for each other because they were so entrenched in their own struggles. Michael, regardless of what happened with Hanna, was overly invested in a lifelong process of self-loathing and avoidance of finding himself in any way that would have been separate from Hanna, and I hated that… our happiness is not contingent on any one person, and his inability to see that throughout his entire life was sad. I don’t think that Hanna was ever capable of a healthy and true love, not because she was an inherently bad person, but because she lacked the capacity.

3. Did you sympathize with Hanna?

No. I may understand, I may empathize on some small level, and I may be saddened by the situation and everyone’s involvement, but I do not sympathize with Hanna. Her situation was extreme and probably deadly had she chosen to act different under the Nazi regime, but she had choices. Her reasons for making those choices are clear and understandable, but they don’t elicit sympathy from me.

4. Do you agree with Michael that Hanna was sympathetic with the prisoners she chose to read to her, and that she chose them so that their final month of life would be better?

I don’t think we ever knew Hanna well enough to be sure of that. I really don’t feel that we ever knew Hanna very well in this book, whether that was intentionally done to allow the reader to create what we wanted of her, or because who she really was wasn’t important to the premise of the story. I’m not sure *Hanna* knew herself very well.

5. When the judge confronts Hanna about not unlocking the church, she does not seem to understand what she did wrong. She is completely consumed with her responsibility to keep order. Was this shocking to you? What is lacking in her moral sense?

I don’t think her behavior at the trial implies a lack of moral sense at all. I think she was baffled in some ways at trying to understand what she could say in the face of what was done during the Holocaust, and her role was horrible, but also self-preserving. I felt like she wanted everyone to somehow acknowledge or at least understand that she was among many people who made a horrible choice of self preservation over possible death, and living that way for so long conditioned a lot of common sense or decency out of her at the time, and conditioned her (admittedly, with her own permission) to respond as a Nazi rather than as a reasonable person. I understand the outrage toward her, but also her response, however horrible it may have been.

6. Do you think there is a connection between literacy and morality? Do you think Schlink is suggesting such a connection?

As in, are illiterate people immoral? That’s absurd, and I would hope that’s not what Schlink was suggesting.

7. Michael feels guilt over a variety of things. In what ways, if any, is Michael guilty? Does loving someone who has committed such a horrible crime implicate him?

How could it possible implicate him? I really don’t get WHY he feels such guilt throughout the book, and it really left me feeling irritated at him throughout most of it. To let one person color and essentially taint your entire life is absurd and profoundly pathetic, and I don’t say that lightly or naively. Being someone who have overcome a lot of things and worked through some very horrible situations and come out of it still a whole and healthy person, I found myself feeling physically angry at Michael’s self-pitying float through life. He felt guilty because he was comfortable in his misery and in wanting to be miserable without (or even with) Hanna. I feel disappointment in Hanna, but I understand her, while I just feel complete disgust with Michael through most of the book. He is a coward, through and through.

8. What did you think of Michael’s decision to send Hanna the tapes?

It seemed like throwing a dog half of a bone… it was a taste of what Hanna wanted from him, and I might have understood how he kept himself at arm’s length if he had done it to punish her, but I felt that he did it because of his cowardice, which disgusted me.

9. Why do you think Hanna killed herself? Do you think she ever came to terms with her guilt as a Nazi? What about her guilt toward Michael?

I don’t think that Hanna had guilt toward Michael. I think she killed herself because she didn’t fit anywhere, and she finally realized that she didn’t even fit with Michael because of how he still kept her at arm’s length. I think if he hadn’t strung her along with the tapes, she might have killed herself long before.

10. Schlink has been criticized for The Reader. Some say it is wrong of him to try to get people to sympathize with Hanna. Others say he is trying to downplay the culpability of the educated class. Still others think he is blaming Hanna’s guilt on illiteracy rather than holding her accountable. Do you agree with any of these criticisms?

I don’t think that what Schlink wanted was for us to feel sympathy for Hanna. I think he wanted us to *understand* her. Not forgive, not excuse, not sympathize, but to understand her, because I would imagine her story isn’t unique to her, and even if we don’t forgive or sympathize with that story, shouldn’t we understand it? I understand wanting us to read a story like this one, because it’s important to understand what we can become as people if we adhere to something like the Nazi regime, even if out of self preservation. I think the “love” story was much less important than the thought provoked by Hanna’s crimes and the implications her behavior has for the human race in a time of mass genocide.

11. Rate The Reader on a scale of 1 to 5.

I’m giving the book at 3. I like some of the questions it raised for me, and the premise is interesting, but the book is flat at times, too weighed down with the cowardice of Michael and too devoid of any character that the reader can truly relate to. I’m interested enough in the story to pursue watching the film version, which I’ve heard is much better than the book, but the book itself was simply mediocre as a whole.

Review: Regina Spektor - Far

Has anyone checked out the new Regina Spektor album, Far since it’s release last week? I am absolutely loving it.

I’ve been a pretty big fan of Regina’s since Begin to Hope, and I was honestly pretty leery about her new album, simply because Begin to Hope is such a seriously solid album. As it turns out in this case, a seriously solid album can be followed by an equally solid album (I wouldn’t say it’s better than the last, but definitely stands up to the quality of it and is just as innovative).

I initially thought the album was a bit over-produced, but by the second listen-through, I was totally hooked and already catching myself humming a few of the tracks under my breath throughout the day. I love Regina’s voice, and the more I listen to the lyrics, the more I simply love this new album, which is exactly how I fell in love with her last album… a little unsure at first, but totally captivated by the second listen.

There just isn’t anyone else out there I’ve listened to who is able to really alter their sound and their voice and use the vocal effects that she does and still produce such a beautiful, strange sound. If you’ve enjoyed her past albums, you should definitely be checking this one out. :)

Podcamp Ohio 2

Last weekend, I attended and volunteered at the second Podcamp Ohio in Columbus. I had a total blast taking pictures and heading up registration, and it was so great to finally meet Aron Pobursky, Jacob Burke, and Drew Griffin for the first time.

Thanks to all the presenters, all the volunteers who helped with registration, all the organizers (notably @AngeloMandato, @DoctorAnonymous, @MerryCricket)and everyone else who made the weekend such a total blast! There are just too many people to list, but I met a lot of great new people and I saw a lot of people I built friendships with last year at Podcamp Ohio.

I took a lot of photos, so I’ll leave you with the slideshow, and you can see several recorded session here (they are gradually being added as Coefficient Media goes through all the footage). Thanks to DG Hollums of The Guys Podcast, who helped me with camera settings and was generally very spiffy, per usual. Note in the photos that Doctor Anonymous is completely incapable of smiling in a photograph unless you catch him unaware… what a ham! ;)

Can’t wait until next year!

Also a big thanks to the sponsors, who deserve some major love (especially loved the caffeinated water Avitae throughout the event!): The Ohio State University Center For The Study And Teaching Of Writing, Blubrry.com, Doctor Anonymous Podcast, Circle Of Seven Productions Book Trailers and Marketing, AssistCoach.com, blip.tv, TechSmith, SpaceBlue, Blue Microphones and Avitae.

Pics: Sam’s Birthday Weekend

Took some fun shots last weekend while my sister Sam was in town. Snapped shots of my nephew, my little brothers, the house, and anything else I could point my DSLR at. :) Getting together with family is almost always a great opportunity to take a few shots with the camera, eh?

I also finally found the option for embedding Flickr slideshows, so here’s what is hopefully an easy way to peruse the Flickr set:

You can view the full set on Flickr here as well.

Pics: Tee Ball Game

A couple of weekends ago, I went to one of my brothers’ tee ball games for the first time. It’s amazing how funny tee ball is… no score, very few kids on the team paying real attention to the game, my brothers remaining completely oblivious to where the ball was at any given moment… it was really cute.

I really need a telephoto lens for stuff like this, but I did manage to get a few cute shots (click on bobble head Ben for the full set):

Kiva - Akossiwa Kouwonou

This is my latest Kiva loan:

Mrs. Akossiwa Kouwonou was born in 1981 in Nyigbé in the south of Togo. She is married and the mother of 6 children. She works at agriculture to help her husband, who is also a farmer. She grows maize. To expand her arable land and increase her yield, she is asking for a loan to pay for plowing and buy fertilizer for her soil. The income that this will bring her will permit her to improve living conditions for her family.

Have you joined Kiva yet?? :)

Project: Wreck This Journal

So, Laura and I decided to do the Wreck This Journal adventure together after recently talking about how we’d both like to do more creative and cathartic journaling. The book isn’t your typical journal and involves actively pushing you to do things to a journal that you wouldn’t instinctively do, like dump coffee on it or scribble on it or even light certain pages on fire.

One of the first (if you go through the book in order) tasks is the crack the spine:

Yikes… I’ve never done that intentionally to a book, but there you go.

Some of the other pages/tasks I’ve done so far:

Looking forward to wrecking the rest of the journal! Almost everyone I’ve shown the book to has gone out and purchased one… the wreckage is contagious. There’s a group on Flickr too, so I’ll be adding all my pictures to that group in addition to the album I started as well.

Let the wreckage begin! :)

Review - Up (2009, Pixar)

Up (2009)

Going to see this in 3-D was one of the best times I’ve had in a movie theater in a long time. My hubby and I went to see this on a whim while we were out of town for our anniversary and it turned out to accidentally be the perfect movie to see that weekend. I cried a lot, I laughed a lot, and I had a lot of choked up moments, where the unbearable sweetness of this movie just grabbed my cynical little heart and demanded that it melt.

Highly recommended, whether you have kids or not. (I don’t have any and I loved it, 3-D glasses and all!)

Note:

- If you can tolerate 3-D movies, definitely go see it in 3-D!
- Take a tissue or two, and if you don’t cry or at least choke up… well, you’re a bastard.
- Remember that it’s a kid’s movie, so there will be potentially obnoxious young persons on the premises. Deal with it.